15 Reasons Why Your Dog’s Haircut Costs More Than Yours!
• You don’t go for 8 weeks and NEVER wash or brush your hair.
• Your hairdresser doesn’t have to CARRY you back and forth, kicking and screaming, to the sink.
•You don’t leap from the tub in a mad soapy rush to escape.
•Your hairdresser doesn’t wash and clean your rear end and give you a sanitary trim!
• Your hairdresser doesn’t clean your ears!
• Your hairdresser doesn’t have to remove the boogies from your eyes.
• You sit still. You don’t bite & scratch your hairdresser.
• Your hair cut doesn’t include a manicure and pedicure.
• Your hairdresser only washes and cuts hair on your head!
• The likelihood of you peeing or pooping while your hair is being cut is slim.
•You don’t collapse on the table and refuse to sit up.
•You probably don’t launch yourself at the window trying to attack the people on the other side.
• You probably haven’t tried to catch a skunk right before your hair appointment.
• Your hairdresser probably dosen’t have to chase you down and drag you out from under a bed!
• You don’t decide to do an Operatic Solo at the top of your lungs and encourage all other patrons to join in!
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’ S DIARY
8:00 am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
9:40 am – Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 pm – Oh Boy! Kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm – Oh Boy! The garden! My favorite!
4:00 pm – Oh Boy! Kids! My favorite!
5:00 pm – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 pm – Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
6:00 pm – Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 pm – Oh Boy! Sleeping in moms bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’ S DIARY
Day 183 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of ” allergies. ” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…